Shopping In Tokyo

• males are deferred to over females
• you are Gaijin
• Japanese are wary
• Japanese expect you to screw up

In Harajuki, I was asked for directions by some Japanese tourists who wanted to practice English with an expat (my proudest moments are when I am mistaken for an expat in Tokyo — especially by other expats!). And yes, I was able to direct our out of town tourists to where they wanted to go. Rawk.

Gender

What I’m about to say may be off-putting, but it’s simply the way it is.  Despite gender equality strides in Japan, the reality is that men are viewed as being the lead in a relationship.  If you go to Tokyo with a friend or partner, one of each gender, expect the Japanese to defer to the male for travel documents, answering questions and so on.  That’s just the way it is.  Check your gender defensiveness at the door.

If, on the other hand, you are female and travelling with another female, expect pimps to try and lure you into their bars and wait staff to fall over themselves to get you drinking in their Izakaya.  No, I’m not kidding.  But keep a cool head, and if you don’t wish to play, smile, nod and cross your arms to indicate “no thanks”.

I actually find it easier to travel in Japan with a female partner than male.

Foreigner

Yes, you are.  Please learn and adapt to the Japanese culture as best as possible.  It’s not only respectful, it can be fun too.  I find that my blood pressure drops dramatically and I am more relaxed and at peace in Tokyo than anywhere else in the world.  Why?  Even if the Japanese are not always genuine with their interactions, they fake it really well.  I love smiling, nodding, bowing, and being courteous.  It’s a shame we have nothing like that here in the West.  But I digress…

Remember that Gaijin is not a nice word; it is a pejorative.  It’s not that the Japanese do not like you, but they do not understand your ways and are extremely xenophobic.  Some will genuinely want to know more about you and will chew your ear off if you give them a chance, but others are very suspicious.  Just be respectful and know their customs.

I tend to encounter about one or two blatant shows of racism against me during every trip.  It happens and I honestly don’t care.  But you should not find yourself the victim of racism beyond perhaps not being served at a restaurant or being completely ignored.

Because you are Gaijin, they will expect you to not know their ways and screw up.  So they’ll give you a great deal of latitude in that regard… and likely gossip about you behind your back when you do screw up — toilet slippers stay in the toilet room!

Just try.